Fractured Heart
by WhispersOfStarlight
Summary: "Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form." ― Rumi Thorin and Bilba have a child but their happiness is short-lived. (Fem!Bilbo)


**A.N: Another sad one-shot, this time with a female Bilbo... I listened to 'Angel' by R. Armando Morabito ft. Julie Elven while writing this.**

* * *

Thorin paced the hallway outside his chambers relentlessly.

Bilba had went into labor the night before.

He ran a hand through his hair.

He still couldn't believe he was going to be a father.

He never thought it would have been possible.

But he had never met someone like Bilba before in all his life.

He smiled softly.

She changed everything.

/ ~ / ~ / ~ /

When he had found her unconscious amid the many bodies on the battlefield, he nearly went mad again.

He thought he had lost her.

He carried her body all the way back to the camp, refusing to let anyone else but Gandalf touch her.

It was three days before she woke with a gasp.

And when she fixed her earthy eyes on him, all he could do was apologize over and over again.

Until she spoke, ever so softly.

"Thorin, will you shut it already?"

"I just want you to forgive me."

She laughed, smacking him on the arm.

"You big brute. I already did that. Now will you shut up?"

Thorin just said the first thing that came to mind.

"Not until you agree to marry me."

She blushed.

"What?!"

Thorin kissed her.

"Marry me, Bilba Baggins. I will have no other but you as my wife."

"If it'll keep you out of trouble...then yes."

Thorin laughed heartily before pressing his lips to hers.

/ ~ / ~ / ~ /

Balin looked at his king in barely concealed amusement.

"Sit down, Thorin, or you will wear a hole through the floor."

"I cannot sit. I will soon be a father, Balin and I am afraid."

Balin sighed.

"You will be a wonderful father. You have done wonderfully with young masters Fili and Kili."

"But-"

"It is nothing that any other new father has thought before their children were born. It is natural."

A scream echoed through the hall, silencing them both.

They stood as still as statues just listening.

Just then a lone high-pitched wail sounded.

Thorin gave a loud cheer as the door to his chambers flew open and he whirled around to face it.

It was Dis and she was splattered with blood.

Thorin felt slightly faint.

"Dis! Is everything alright..."

"Thorin...its a boy."

He laughed at the news.

"Thorin..." Dis began.

"Balin, did you hear? It's a boy. I have a son!"

"Uncle!"

Kili and Fili came running around the corner, skidding to a halt inches behind Balin.

"Thorin!"

A hand on his shoulder stilled him and he faced his sister again.

Her eyes were filling with tears.

Something was wrong.

"Dis? What is wrong?"

"Bilba, it's...she...the birth was very difficult for her. Thorin, she..she's not going to make it."

Thorin felt all strength leave him and he stumbled forward.

"No..."

He was stopped by falling by his sister's strong grip.

"You are wrong! She's strong, she'll make it."

"Oin was able to stop the bleeding, but she had already lost too much."

Balin turned away for a moment, tears filling his eyes.

Fili struggled to keep Kili upright as he kept asking the same question.

"Auntie's going to die?"

/ ~ / ~ / ~ /

It was fifteen minutes until the door opened again this time to reveal Oin.

He was wiping his hands and looking haggard.

"Thorin?"

The king stood shakily.

"She-" the elder dwarf's voice broke, "She want to see you."

Thorin nodded shakily and stood.

All sound around him was muffled and it was as if time slowed as he walked to the door.

He paused at the threshold and took a gasping breath.

Oin placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, laddie."

He took a step forward and entered his chambers.

At first everything was a bit hazy due to the dim light, but once his eyes adjusted, they blurred from the tears that gathered there.

She was pale, much too pale for his liking.

He knelt beside the bed and took one of her hands in his.

She opened her eyes and smiled softly.

"Hello there."

He smiled back.

"Hello."

"A son, Thorin, we have a son."

"I know."

"I want to see him."

Thorin nodded wordlessly before turning to find the cradle.

It wasn't too far from the bed.

He walked over to it and looked down, seeing his son for the first time.

He stared in awe at the little honey-haired, chubby faced bundle inside.

His heart ached.

He was beautiful.

He picked the bundle up, gently cradling the baby in his arms.

"Suppor-"

"Support his head, yes, I know. I have held Fili and Kili both when they were this small."

She tried to giggle but it sent her into a coughing fit.

She gasped, clutching her abdomen.

"Bilba..."

"It's nothing."

Thorin made a pained noise before leaning over and caressing her cheek.

They both knew that it wasn't, but neither mentioned it.

"Bilba..."

"My son?"

He laid down next to her and placed the baby between them.

Bilba cooed at she traced the features of her baby.

"Beautiful."

"Yes he is."

Bilba was quiet for a moment and then she looked up at him, tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh Thorin, I...I'm sorry...I wanted so much to...to be there."

A tear flowed freely down Thorin's cheek.

"I know." He choked out.

"Would I have been a good mum?"

"You would've made an excellent mother."

She smiled again.

"Tell him a-about me? About The Shire? And don't let Kili and Fili spoil him too much?"

He nodded.

"T-tell the others that I car-"

"I w-will, I will."

"I love you, Thorin."

"I love you too, my _Kidhuzurâl."_ He sobbed.

She gently touched her son's cheek.

"Be my brave boy and take care of your daddy for me. I love you."

Her hand fell away from him and her eyes closed.

Thorin reached out for her.

"No!"

Her breathing slowed and then she was still.

"No, nonono! Bilba? Bilba?!"

Thorin gave a mournful wail, gently brushing the curls from her face. His tears flowed like a river from his eyes.

"Please, please _Mizimelûh_ d-don't leave us!"

The baby, realizing something wasn't right, began to cry in ernest.

The high-pitched crying caught his attention.

Thorin even in his grief was mindful of his child.

He picked him up and cradled the infant close to his chest.

This little life was the only connection he had left to his One.

He looked back at Bilba with heart-broken eyes.

_'He will never go a day without knowing you, Bilba.'_

"Hush now, little Bilbo. Your father's here. Hush, little _Sanûrzud_."

* * *

_Kidhuzurâl - golden one_

___Sanûrzud_ - perfect (true/pure) sun

_Mizimelûh – (the) jewel of (all) jewels_


End file.
